Saturday night I made the huge mistake of consuming too much alcohol, and ended up in NO shape to work Sunday afternoon. I pride myself in having become a semi-responsible adult when it comes to drinking on school nights, but i thought since I didn't start work until 3pm, I'd be ok. No such luck. I was still puking at 1pm. Fucking Bacardi.
Unoccupied Area IV is an...interesting place, to say the least. It's like a disgusting version of Melrose Place, meaning everyone gets wasted and sleeps with each other but hardly anyone is good looking.
Me? I just sometimes get wasted.
It's like a freaky Hitchcock movie. You come to this town, having been from a 'normal' place and you're shocked at the way people act.
Here's an example of some of Unoccupied Area IV's finest parenting. Yes, that is a 3/4 gallon bottle of wine in that chiller, and that is a real infant baby in the car seat. And yes, they drank it all and then drove out of the parking lot. Did I mention this was 11:15am on a Tuesday?
Unoccupied Area IV tries to come off as god fearing Christian State, but from where I stand, nothing is farther from the truth. I've never seen a town with so many churches and so few Christians. From the cheating/swapping, to getting wasted around their kids. The classlessness is endless. Here, getting an M.I.P is a badge of honor and a measurable percentage of the senior class was pregnant. Here, several teens die every year in drunk driving accidents. Here, getting married at 17, to some Air Force guy you've been fucking since you were 15 is totally normal. Why? So they can live on base together and get free housing. And the parent
(s) are ok with it. Like I said, Twilight Zone.
So, here's a toast to burying my head in the snow for the next 6 months until I can go home to where the people are somewhat sane. I'll even keep the wine classless, just for you; Minot.